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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
My left handed self portrait looks like Jesus' LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, July 24th, 2008 | | 12:54 pm |
The Science Of Mental Health....and HEAVY LOADS (via weepingcock)  Xenu wants you to get the gush. I honestly didn't know men OR women cared about that. Unless you're just TRYING to get knocked up. Current Music: Ras Kass - Its War | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008 | | 9:58 pm |
In perhaps an hour, I'll be soaking in this:  I am expecting nothing less than craptacular excellffluence. Current Music: Company Flow - Krazy Kings | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 6:55 pm |
my brain has mildew (I shot the sheriff But I didnt shoot no deputy, oh no! oh! I shot the sheriff But I didnt shoot no deputy, ooh, ooh, oo-ooh.)

Yeah! all around in my home town, Theyre tryin to track me down; They say they want to bring me in guilty For the killing of a deputy, For the life of a deputy. But I say:
Oh, now, now. oh! (I shot the sheriff.) - the sheriff. (but I swear it was in selfdefence.)

Oh, no! (ooh, ooh, oo-oh) yeah! I say: I shot the sheriff - oh, lord! - (and they say it is a capital offence.)

Yeah! (ooh, ooh, oo-oh) yeah!
Sheriff john brown always hated me, For what, I dont know:

Every time I plant a seed,

He said kill it before it grow - He said kill them before they grow.

And so:
Read it in the news: (I shot the sheriff.) oh, lord! (but I swear it was in self-defence.) Where was the deputy? (oo-oo-oh) I say: I shot the sheriff, But I swear it was in selfdefence. (oo-oh) yeah!

Freedom came my way one day And I started out of town, yeah! All of a sudden I saw sheriff john brown Aiming to shoot me down, So I shot - I shot - I shot him down and I say: If I am guilty I will pay.

(I shot the sheriff,) But I say (but I didnt shoot no deputy), I didnt shoot no deputy (oh, no-oh), oh no! (I shot the sheriff.) i did! But I didnt shoot no deputy. oh! (oo-oo-ooh)
Reflexes had got the better of me And what is to be must be: Every day the bucket a-go a well, One day the bottom a-go drop out, One day the bottom a-go drop out.

I say:
I - I - I - I shot the sheriff. Lord, I didnt shot the deputy. yeah! I - I (shot the sheriff) - But I didnt shoot no deputy, yeah! no, yeah! Current Music: Cornell Campbell - The Conquering Gorgon | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 10:38 am |
"the That Aint Right" adsMy opinion, which is mine and I own it- if they're guilty of something, it's not homophobia, it's making light of forced sodomy or rape, which is something completely different. To be clear, nothing's wrong with a guy sucking another guy's dick, but MAKING him do it, and making LIGHT of it, that's not cool. THAT is the context of these ads- a guy dunks, gets such great elevation that his crotch ends up in another man's face, with a tagline "THAT AINT RIGHT". It would be homophobic if it was a shot of them after the game getting slurpy with it and they kept the tagline. It is clear (to anyone who watches basketball and isn't just looking for a witch to hunt in mass culture) that in the context of a game, you wouldn't allow this to happen. Not because you're straight and don't like sucking dicks, but because it means the other guy just scored on you, and made you look pretty helpless in the process. The very nature of it being a sport implies opposition, nonconsensuality. Having said that, fan of Brand Nubian though I am, "punks jump up to get beat down" is still pretty much unequivocably, unredeemably homophobic, and to reference it in the ad pretty much means they're asking for whatever flak they get. I think this point is going to sail right by anyone who'd get mad about it though, and this will be the most successful Nike ad campaign since...well, it's going to get better numbers than the messianic LeBron "we are all witnesses" shtick anyways. Current Music: Jim O'Rourke - 94 the Long Way | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 9:58 am |
Isn't that nice First thing I thought of when I woke up this morning: ( oleum ) | | Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008 | | 1:39 pm |
| | Sunday, July 20th, 2008 | | 11:48 pm |
another great movie Clifford Stern: A strange man... defecated on my sister. Wendy Stern: [pause] ... why? Cliff: I don't know, is there any reason I can give you that would answer that satisfactorily?
Angelica Huston looked a damn sight better 15 years later in The Life Aquatic. I think this says more about the 80s being bad for everyone's look than the woman's natural beauty.
Not to sound like someone writing in a livejournal at 12:40 in the morning, but this movie is how life works. The kind, wisely rabbi goes blind, the overt douchebag gets the girl, and the subtle douchebag gets away with having another murdered.
"Life is worse than dog eat dog, it's dog doesn't return other dog's phone calls."
"I don't know from suicide. I'm from Brooklyn, we were all too unhappy to commit suicide." | | 7:47 pm |
believe the hype The Dark Knight brings it. I can't think of one thing I didn't like. Not one. It's long, and if it was longer, I wouldn't have cared.
Ok, the only thing I don't like about it? It's a movie and not a tv show. I'm sure it wouldn't be as good, but damn I wish I had this kind of thing to look forward to every week on the small screen. | | 9:59 am |
the customer is not always right, but he at least knows what No means If I owned an evil conglomco of stores peddling high-fructose corn syrup, soft core pornography, and other sundries, I would have this paragraph on the last page of the employment form:
If you are working here, chances are that you don't understand funny. Do not try. If you feel something clever coming up, just stop. Keep screaming at the baseball game and serve the customers. If they ask how the weather is, you may speak, but cease with your attempts at wit. You are not cleared for repartee and comebacks. No.
I can't stand people who think its funny to respond to requests they can, should, and WILL fill, with "No", but not provide any context as to why that should be funny. You get this a lot in the south, in fact, I'm sad to say, you WILL probably get it about half the time, regardless of race, age, gender, class, place of business, or any other way of distinguishing such situations. The sad fact is that cashiering as a trade does not self-select for developed, let alone keen, senses of humor. (except when I'm doing it, right?) Unfortunately, there is no shortage of anti-comedians here in the PacNwest either. For example, I'm at 7-11 yesterday, and I say "can I get/may I have* the cash back as singles, please." The old woman behind the counter says "No", smiles, laughs, and this is important, not missing a beat- for there is no rhythm in anti-comedy- hands me my ones. This irritates the shit out of me because the level of mind that thinks that's funny is never going to understand why its not. It WOULD be funny if she said 'no', stuck to her guns, even made up a b.s. reason why she couldn't. (Well, funny if it happened to you anyways.) It WOULDN'T be funny if she said "sorry, I'm short on ones right now, I can't do it", but that COULD happen, and I would understand it. In fact, when you tell me you can't, my instinct is to assume something like the latter. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here, and not assume that because you're working at 7-11 when you're 60 that you've got even less of a grip on communication skills than the person who works the shift after you who barely even speaks English. But when you say no, AS YOU'RE DOING WHAT I REQUEST...it just makes me think your whole life, you've just been waiting to hear your name (that the whole world is speaking Spanish and you're Bill Cosby), that all the other words in your head are just so many shiny objects, pretty power tools with candy-like buttons you will never know the meaning of. Since that may indeed be the case, may I suggest just using ANY OTHER RANDOM WORD? "May I have my change back as singles?" "Sleeves!"
"May I have a double cheeseburger, hold the pickles and onions?" "Cellar."
"I'd like a dollar bag of ice too." "Hogs."
Look, if that inchaote, senseless 'no' is just bubbling up inside you like a sneeze or an orgasm, and you've just got to say it at weird times, fine, you can save it for the people who make genuinely 'strange' requests like "can I put hot dog chili on my nachos?" "No!...just kidding, I don't care". It still won't be funny then, but at least the fan of chili won't think of you as something barely above a parrot.
*doesn't matter, the point of this blather is to describe the kind of retard who doesn't understand humor, and shouldn't be allowed to try to use it. If you're so stupid that you think randomly saying no is funny for its own sake, you wouldn't get it if I first say "can I have" then corrected myself to "may I have...".
Current Music: Alexander Tucker - Sung Into Your Brightning Skull | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 12:28 am |
Not as good as say, HIM, or Mice Parade, or Greg Davis, but still nice, and great for free
cover photograph from occupied Iraq, a laser-bisected mosque, but was actually a radome, I think. US soldiers were trotting around it.
The group name was some completely unmemorable intentionally ill-spelled take on the word "architecture". I'm talking Ron Artest 'tru warier' bad.
The record title was something equally unpenetrable.
The song titles? I think you know where I'm going with this...
Still, the music was pretty decent, on the lazily dissonant end of guitar drone. Closer to die yoof than the Valentines. No real compositions or progressions at all, just fades and abrupt cuts and splices. Samples about serotonin levels and uptake inhibitors and treaty violations and payload delivery vehicles. Certainly nothing that would shock or displease fans of either the VHF or Kranky labels.
Unfortunately, I burned it to HD during a phase where I'd neglected to set it to save the album's data or whatever, and also sold the cd along with the 20 or so others in the shoebox they came in.
Because the name is such a jacked up version of 'architecture, and more importantly, a not very clever one, it's hard to make guesses for what to Google for. I've never been successful in retracking this band down. It's as bad as my long-time problem with the band Whipped Creme from Sweden.
I'm running this file converter that has completletyeaten my procesor power, so its funny to see how much the computer can keep up with me and how much i cn keep up without werrors. This program marks the end of my time with minidisks. I no longer have any of the hardware, and now I'm converting the OMG/ATRAC files to mp3.
Argh, still about 70 songs to. Cinvubed wutg
wow!
"Combined with" is what I was trying to type, referring to BTawrrint being the other thing hogging my CPU. And LastFM. Well, Firefox actually is the worst culprit...WmPlayer aint helping either...
Comvuibet wutg Cinvube wutg
that's hard to intetionally type!
cinvubed wutg ther' we go
jesus this sucks, i can only not imagine what it must be like to be Stephen HAwking
Current Music: Chubb Rock - Treat 'em Right | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | Friday, July 18th, 2008 | | 5:46 pm |
Must be able to physically exist. Must exhibit tangibility upon request. Some data entry. The Ways I Sabotaged My Job Interviews:
The principal asked what I thought teachers really wanted: tenure, or the ability to reach young minds. I said that reaching them was setting the bar low, and that I aspired more to getting a good solid feel.
With the prosecutor's office, I responded to every utterance directed to me with "Is there a question in there somewhere?"
At the factory, I told them how I love to discover a new way of doing something, every time I do it, just for the sheer joy of it and the possibility of learning something new. Who needs speed when you've got a REAL understanding of what makes carpet, carpet?
I conducted my exchange with the call center in semaphore & Aldis lamp.
I told the help desk that I hate computers and would never use them if not for making beats & recording, blogging, following sports, porn, and blogging about making beats & recording, blogging, following sports, and porn.
On my police application form, for the box marked "ethnicity", I wrote in "Porcine-American".
I queried the pastor, "Ok, I think I got it, the Grants go over there in the safe cos we spending those Jacksons, the Washingtons go to wifey, but the music minister gets the change in the offering, right?"
"The chef", I said, "and the ingredients he or she chooses, and the preparation he or she undertakes, and the production they put in the dish, and the meal they construct it out of, and the plates on which its put, and the silverware with which its consumed, and the spectacle of 'the meal' as 'event'- the entire setup of consumption, if you will, was quite overrated and personally I would take my nutrition intravenously most days."
Down at Guitar Center, I told them my favorite band was the Chemical Brothers and I didn't really make my own music, but 'Totally kill at Guitar Hero'. They offered me the job. (this one feels cheaper than the cop joke)
Current Music: Beck - Profanity Prayers | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 | | 11:57 pm |
prematic greshretting  I don't know why I like muxtape so much. But I do. And of course, if you want to download these, hit me up on slsk, it is BLOWING THE FUCK UP tonight with the good stuff. If you only listen to one track, make it the Cornell Campbell cover of Nina Simone. And laugh at Muxtape for their 24mb file length limitation which still allows a 19 minute Coil song! Which you should definitely not operate heavy machinery while listening to. And if you liked that, and missed the other two the first time, they're both still up Current Music: The Black Dog - Shadehead | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 8:57 am |
shout out to the Wilderness Pangs I dreamed I was mike-checking last night and sang "...cos the moon is out of reach, just like birds above the beach."
In the dream I could tell it was a 'rilly big shew', although for what band, I don't know. My mom was in the crowd. Dunno 'bout yours :)
Current Mood: awake | | Monday, July 14th, 2008 | | 7:36 pm |
"All reggae is vile."- Morrissey "There is some music I personally hate. I'm not into reggae. I'll never do anything with reggae." - Jim O'Rourke Between those two guys, pop-rock music begins and ends for me. And god, do I love reggae. I think this is yet more evidence for my theory that the more I like a musician's output, the less I have anything in common with what they like as far as their input- buffered by my side theory that my favorite types of music are the ones I couldn't be more remote from. To sum up, if I can do what another musician does, and they're into what I'm into, I'm probably not into what they do. My music making friends are the exception to this. I may have to adjust this theory for non-musical artists though, because...how's this for weird? Chris Morris visiting CERN. Apparently he's like Slartibartfast and a great fan of science. (has a degree in zoology, dontcha know...)  I had a conversation with Molly the other day that could have been straight out of Jaaaam, but it involved fish slapping, so I should probably keep that in File 13. That IS the sort of thing I'd like to write, but I have no idea what to do with it, or where it should go, or how it should be realized. I am slowly realizing maybe I should get a little hip to video editing. Current Music: Nephilim Modulation Systems - Instrumental | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 4:44 pm |
HAWWWWIIEEE BEWWWWWWY (I'm Robocop, bitch!)  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Scarborough Fair, honeybunny. | | Saturday, July 12th, 2008 | | 11:15 pm |
droud Oh vagus nerve, is there anything we CAN'T do by stimulating you?Between ultrasound speaking directly to your brain telling you to love the Army and buy Sony and electrodes up your butt* telling you you're full and fucked, I think we can offically say the Matrix is here, and thank god. Please relieve me from the tiresome burden of having to try (and fail) to do all this shit in meatspace. Seriously, it's too expensive to eat right and form lasting relationships. You can say what you like, I'd take the blue pill if I *literally* didn't have to think twice about it. Given the choice of ignorant bliss or being informed & frustrated, reading other countries' news coverage of your own & getting gerrymandered/jailed/protest-free-zoned out of the political process, sucks. *Yes, I know the article said the device is worn on a belt, but come on, you know the only thing you know about the vagus nerve is the old homophobe's tale about being able to get a heart attack from teh butt secks. Current Music: Ras Kass - All Day | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | 7:31 pm |
comic book geeks, you were warned I've been doing a bit of reading comics as comparative religion. I don't know why, save that the SPL has an EXCELLENT stock of graphic novels, and I dunno, the constraints of continuity have always seemed to me an easy way of finding inspiration or a lot more simple than writing a novel out of whole cloth. Plus, to read fanboys' comments, you would think comic books are written by people who don't like comics. I at least don't *love* them, so that immediately qualifies me for the job. (after all, if you want power, you are the last person who should have it)
So far, these are my conclusions, which I will expound on later, and mention now in hopes of irritating you into interesting discourse:
1. no more zombies. no. no. no. Unless Simon Pegg or Peter Watts are involved, NO MORE FUCKING ZOMBIES. Cannibals, voodoo, vampires, serial killers, cannibal serial killer voodoo vampires, those are all fine and dandy but I cannot take zombies lying down. I really can't take the idea of maggots scaring one lying down either, but that was in one of the few comics I LIKED today.
2. 'reality-warping' powers are retarded. If you have to have a character who is the writer's obvious god machine, why not just make them a magician? To try and pass magical powers off as some sort of mutation isn't gilding the lily, it's sticking a carburetor on it. Let magic be magic, and people with skin problems and dorsal fins be mutants. Plus they're incredibly common too. I'm sure I would lose this proposition to someone more versed in this crap than I, but it seems like there's more mutants with 'reality-warping' powers than there are 'strongmen' who are the equivalent of the Hulk. Let's make that perfectly clear: in the Marvel universe, nobody's stronger than the Hulk, but there's at least 10 people who can change the entire world and its past with a thought bubble. Does anything about that ratio seem kinda cracked to you?
3. alternate universes are just as bad, if not worse, than reality-warping powers, zombies, evil twins (bearded or not), or 'it was all a bad dream'. Clones and robot duplicates are equally annoying and old but at least kinda workable. Besides, even if you could conquer an alternate universe, you know you'd just end up in one where the man or woman you love isn't a man or a woman anymore, but a potted plant, and Whataburger doesn't exist there either.
4. If you're going to technobabble gobbledygook, do it with one side of your mouth. I tried to read the TPB of Crisis on Infinite Earths and every time antimatter was presented as some sort of creeping quicksand, it never failed to make me think the author was taking dictation from someone who hated me and particle physics.
5. Speaking of technobabble gobbledygook, of all the 'ultimate' books I perused, only the Fantastic Four still seemed kinda interesting.
6. If it has happened on a Joss Whedon television show (see also: reality warping powers, zombies, ineffectual male characters), even if it happened FIRST in a comic, do not do it. That man must be stopped before he vomits over any other form of media. I never liked his tv shows, and I just rewatched Alien: Resurrection the other day and I'm mad at him all over again. Seriously, I want to slap him for every word of dialogue he wrote for Sigourney Weaver. That movie is NOT Jean Jeunet's fault. Then he's got the balls to say they didn't actually change his script, but just 'acted it all wrong, did it in the most ghastly way possible'. Dude, there is NO good way to wear shit on your face.
This will go on. | | Friday, July 11th, 2008 | | 9:57 am |
rocking mineral machines The future is here, Amanda Pays just hasn't been equally multiplexed and distributed yet. Seriously, if there is anything 80s SF moving pictures told me, it was that I could expect Amanda Pays in the future, and that we two, together, would ride underwater. Amanda Pays. Married to Corbin Bernsen (unfortunately). In 80s SF if you wanted a slightly, subtly hot Englishwoman with a mastery of the emotional scale ranging from mildly amused schoolmarmish disbelief of some stupid remark  to a Stanislavskian in-the-moment reaction of professional surprise in the workplace to full-blown righteous indignation at such callous floutings of the laws of nature  then Amanda was your womanda for the job. Those 80s movies knew their place, they were chiseled into the bedrock of the revolution of lowering expectations in such a blandly generic way...sigh, you just can't get deculturalization like that these days. It's far too personally marketed and specific. I digress. The Amanda Pays Future wasn't like movies today where the future is say, Angelina Jolie or Monica Bellucci and then you think 'yeah right. I'm still in the Matrix.'  And not only does she have her own body of work, but she also made possible such technologies as Claire Forlani, and on this side of the drink, Zooey Deschanel. What I'm saying is she's got everyday archetypal appeal. (because we all have perfectly slightly better than average looking Englishwomen living next door? what?) Is there a sexy British schoolteacher she couldn't play? (pic taken by singlefished)Geeks named a video codec for her. That's serious love, and proves my point: we as a people have a reasonable expectation that there be more Amanda Pays In The Future. And trust me, we NEED Amanda Pays in the end-of-history/afterfuture/TAZ/slow-burn Soylency. If you ended up a spastic simulated consciousness, Amanda Pays can be close by on a keyboard the size of a carrier battle group.  If you end up the Flash, those dewy orbs can soften even the tackiest 'how I got my powers' scene.  Even if you run to the depths of the ocean floor, there Amanda Pays can find you (and leviathan). But who'd run? Current Music: Orko Elohiem] - Invisible opinion | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | Thursday, July 10th, 2008 | | 11:59 am |
That which does not kill us, makes us
stronger, stranger, stringers, stingers, slingers, straight up stacker lee figures, swiggers, grave diggers, stifled sniggers, drink spillers, lock pickers, hair triggers, deck riggers, switch hitters, pitch shifters, phase conversion and modulation filters, trip rifters, cognac sniffers, drug dog asshole lickers, clothes spiffers, busted zippers, that new innovative household product the swiffer,
other things as well.
I've been reading about curry lately, (I kinda understand currying in the mathematical sense, or at least enough to use it for technobabble should I ever be called upon to write a Dr. Who script or adapt a Rudy Rucker novel for television)) and basically, curry is quite literally, just gravy. Glad we got that sorted. Gravy, of course, being the sixth, and my favorite, state of matter (after plasma (4th) bullshit (5th)). I didn't know vindaloo actually has its origins in Portugal. I certainly don't know of a curried world of seafood save for prawns or shrimp in the odd homemade one or at a Thai joint. There is much to be learned, and eaten. So when I blow up like pornographic pancakes and I'm That Dude, I should think I would like a graverie. As in to gravy what a creperie would be to a crepe. For breakfast, it would serve either bisquits and (white) gravy or an open-face turkey (with turkey gravy) or roast beef (plain brown, thick juz, or mushroom-based gravy) sandwich with mashed potatoes. No eggs, no bacon, no pancakes, no muffins. Bisquits or white bread for the sandwich, that's it. Go to fucking Denny's if you scared! And yeah, you can order those later in the day too if you have to have it.
Lunch, I figure you could rotate various regional Indian, Thai, Japanese curries for at least three days of the week*, leaving at least one day for various permutations of etouffee or gumbo (although I really don't like gumbo myself), and that would leave three days to represent the rest of the curry world. Having said that, the curries you could get any day, all would include simple tikka masala, panang, masaman, and that sort of bland Japanese curry that they eat with mashed potatoes AND/OR cheese...and it works! It goes without saying you got your damn choice of rice, and it goes waaaay deeper than white, brown, Basmati, or Jasmine. (or mashed potatoes or corn chips..I know! I know! People in the Netherlands eat mayo on their fries too! Ok that's actually good..) For real sopping craziness, there's obviously naan in all its wondrous forms, but also really crispy French bread for etouffee, and oh hell, maybe cornbread & the leftover bisquits from breakfast.
*maybe every other week Burmese curry gets a daily spotlight too. that stuff I had in NYC requires bionic digestive & salivary system just to get a couple of bites down with triggering incipient diarrhea and anamnesis.
For decoration, we'd have to scour ebay for Michael, Dell, and Eddy jerseys. Pictures with Tim as the devil in Legend, but not in Rocky Horror- I have to eat at this place. But what to call it? Graviyt? The Gravy Boat? Out Damned Stain Out?
Current Music: Prefuse 73 - Afternoon Love In | Scrobbled by Last.fm | | Monday, July 7th, 2008 | | 12:18 pm |
x-posted to the whorespace Hey all, here's my latest two tracks: wanderlust (featuring Dolphin Mouth on vocals) Rorschach (I actually tried to make scary music for a change, this is based off a scene from one of my favorite novels- Blindsight- where an alien artifact is being explored, but unbeknownst to the crew, it is actually alive and fucking with their brains with powerful magnetic fields) I also realized anyone I've met since say, 1998, probably hasn't heard "my first two solo records". Yep, the stuff I did waaaaaaay before Suomi, Forest Magic, or even The Mooks or Todo Depende De La Velocidad! They sound a bit dated, I hate most of the titles, but I think some of it still works as aural wallpaper/pass-out|make-out music. I can't believe I used to make this shit without a computer or software for beats...staring into a little LED window of an AKAI sampler the size of 4 cinder blocks and twiddling a knob to edit... Here's both albums in zipped form: self titled (1998) "How to feel warm...secure, even!" (1999) Those links expire in a week, so here's permanent links to individual tracks: (Self titled) sub
infestaery (my friend Nathan said this made him think of smacking Tinkerbell's ass and telling her 'you're tight for a sprite')
there is no real title for this song that lasts longer than 30 seconds
ditto
tibete
departure
Individual tracks (how to feel warm.... secure, even!)
again
style one (I recommend this one if only because I'm playing a real sitar (poorly) on it)
the bliss
lsdyslexia
feeling thick?
Soldotna (shout out to Wade and his frozen Alaska homeland!)
this used to be called 'Vince Carter'
just embarassing (I don't know what I was thinking, and sadly, I can't even blame drugs)
april maytag dub
unimpeded forward progress
Hey, what can I say, I was severely under the spell of Seefeel and Bowery Electric at the time! Hope you enjoy. |
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